why?

Jane Mandelson took the What perfume are you? quiz and the result is: Joop! Femme.
You’re an over-priced combination of alcohol and water that the manufacturer claims has ‘a spicy fragrance which bursts forth with lemon and has a lasting impression of patchouli oakmoss and vetiver’. Well done!

Flo Rider took the What car battery are you? quiz and the result is: Type 063 Varta Dynamic 12V 44Ah.
You’re a specific type of rechargeable device that supplies electricity to an automobile. You have a four year guarantee and are about the size of a large shoe box. Awesome!

Fred Rimmer took the What STD are you? quiz and the result is: Gonorrhea.
More often that not, you cause a yellowish discharge from the penis, resulting in frequent and painful uirination. If untreated you spread throughout the body, affecting joints and heart valves. Right on!

Alison Redbeard took the What BNP voter are you? quiz and the result is: Embittered Thicko.
You’re not very bright and have just lost your job to a beautiful Eastern-European girl who agreed to work for less money than you. You’re almost certainly poor, ugly and from the North. And, seeing as you don’t have a job anymore, you made it down to the polling booths the other day. You go girl!

Rupert Smeg-Badger took the What year of Josef Fritzl’s daughter’s captivity are you? quiz and the result is The 17th.
After the previous sixteen years of physical assault and sexual abuse at the hands of your father, you have no sense of humanity left and have given up on life in general. This year will also see you give birth to your son Stefan, who’s also your brother. Crazy! Hold on, just seven more years to go!

Jedediah Kane took the What made-up word are you? quiz and the result is Flumpretch.
You’re a real wristyjip, who knows how to have a good furkelsplat. Some people might find you a bit planetorb, but that’s just ‘spunkgrut. Bartelsplonk!

Sarah Engass took the What inconvenient time to need a shit are you? quiz and the result is: In the middle of seeing a movie at the cinema.
You’re REALLY inconvenient, because you don’t want to squeeze past all the other people in the aisle AND you don’t want to miss any of the film. Nightmare!

Timothy Simian took the What 20th century famine are you? quiz and the result is: The Great Chinese Famine.
You managed to take the lives of 20 million people during the rapid industrialisation of 1959-61. But you also increased iron production by 45%, so swings and roundabouts. Good times!

Jimmy Luffman took the What type of yellow are you? quiz and the result is: The kind of muddy one they use on the Veuve Clicquot label.
You’re not quite Academy Award gold, and you’re not quite daffodil yellow. You’re kind of in between. Fucking kick ass!

Joe Public took the What else should I be doing with my time? quiz and the result is Anything else!