barking bulldogs

Whilst relatively pleased with my previous blog entry (that is ‘relatively’ in comparison with my only other blog entry), I was concerned that it might be construed as a fascistic tirade about Britain’s journey to the dogs, as one might find between the pages of moron-rags such as the Mail and Express. Although I was clearly implying societal decline within my rant, I want to make it absolutely clear that it should in no way be read with any nationalistic sentiments in mind. In fact, if you are reading this and would consider yourself to be strongly right wing, I would like you to stop reading this, log off your computer and re-evaluate your life and the damage you are doing.

I, personally, couldn’t be less right wing. I am nothing if not a liberal. And a liberal in the true sense (verging on libertarian); people should just do what they want as long as it doesn’t harm other people. It’s as simple as that. Admittedly the http address listed above would suggest otherwise, but trust me; I’m not a Nazi. I just like to moan.

Whether you believe me or not, I would still like to utilise this entry to demonstrate my political centrality and absolute abhorrence of anything nationalistic. ‘How best to do this?’ I hear myself ask. Well, ‘luckily’ enough, I work for a department of the UK Parliament, which, in addition to allowing me to rant randomly on the internet instead of working, meant that this morning I was thrown into contact with some colourful chaps known as the England First Party. Whilst the context of my dealings with them was firmly within the wearisome realm of their financial accounts, I couldn’t help but read up on the party, in order to find out what it was that these accounts were in aid of. Naturally, I was prepared to read that they were a political faction perhaps more inclined towards shaven heads and Holocaust denial than the average balanced individual. However I was nowhere near ready for their ill-founded beliefs, policies that can, at best, be described as ‘deranged’, and overall unpleasantness.

At the top of the homepage of the England First Party is the ‘definition’ of racism. Set out as if lifted directly from the OCD, we are told that the word ‘racism’ actually means ‘The mechanism by which white society is to be stripped of its capacity to defend itself against the genocide of multi-racialism’. Uh-huh. Do, go on. 'When a civilization no longer has the stomach to fight for its existence, and views its own self defence as unwarranted aggression, it has signed its own death warrant'. I see…

Simply put, this party is mad. What’s more, these lunatics have pre-empted most people’s concern that they might be a racist party by completely redefining the word; ‘No, we’re not racist. It’s the blacks who are racist’. Quite.

Nevertheless, it is their 12-point manifesto that really raises the loony stakes. The first two policies of repatriation of all immigrants and the death penalty for murder would not look out of place in the manifestos of most extremist parties or, indeed, the private ramblings of some Tory back-benchers. But rule number 3 of restoring ‘the gibbet, stocks and whipping post for serious violent offenders, paedophiles, sex pests and drug dealers’, surely raises some alarm bells. Treating crimes with inhumane violence? I could be wrong, but didn’t they decide that was a bollocks idea over a century ago? Plus, I don’t know what a ‘sex pest’ is exactly, but I’m guessing some of them are going to prefer a whipping.

With regards to education, these dangerously-fanatical tosspots would like to teach the ‘Aryan histories of Western Europe’ along with ‘sexual abstinence’ to the youth of England; a combination that surely would produce the most ill-informed and dull race of people on the planet. Good luck trying to explain the increase in blond-haired, blue-eyed children twelve hundred years ago without contradicting one of those!


Game: guess what links these three?

(Hint: it's not that they're all ugly)


Point 6 of ending ‘all forms of animal cruelty’, initially sounds like a good policy; almost cutely fascist. Like Mussolini in bunny slippers. However, read on and you find that this includes the ‘barbaric’ methods of killing animals employed by the Muslim and Jewish faiths. Indeed, the England First Party wishes to abolish the Islamic faith altogether. And, if that wasn’t enough, they wish to demolish all mosques! Presumably so the people that remain in this ‘New England’ don’t get turned on by their giant boob-shaped domes and there aren’t enough stocks to put them in.

The remainder of the manifesto lists such really sane policies as compulsory hard labor for the unemployed, the ‘bringing to justice of all politicians guilty of treason against the people of England’ (not cashing-in on the current political climate, you understand) and, I’m not making this up, the encouragement of ‘our women folk…to concentrate their time and energies on caring for their home and families.’ See what I mean? Bonkers.

Aside from perpetuating this bigoted twaddle, the website also provides a merchandise section which offers badges depicting certain English emblems, posters of various Aryan art and books written by individuals who were not an uncommon appearance in 1940s Nuremberg.

It truly boggles the mind to think that there are people living in Britain today that have such antiquated and harmful convictions. That some humans existing at this very moment have more ignorant views than those of thousands of years ago. Ironically enough, it is usually these misguided and angry individuals that commit the violent crimes that they would so severely punish. One piece of prejudicial memorabilia the England First Party offers is a bumper sticker depicting a bull dog and the maxim: ‘Too fast to live! Too young to die!’ I wonder if that’ll be their excuse when they are lead to the gallows?

In conclusion, I’m not a nationalist. Nor am I mad. Although the two, I think, are often linked.